About arsinic : The elusive ArSinic can often be found lurking on the walls of FML and LOLpics, finding stupid puns and pictures of baby animals for amusement. If you ever cross it's path, the only chance for survival would be to soil yourself or offer it pizza.
arsinic's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
arsinic's favorite FMLs
Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML
by VHBJ / 09/14/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML
by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
by technicallywroteabook / 08/21/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
by not telling you my name / 08/07/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Indiana) / Work
by Lonely School Kid / 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML
by fukingtigans / 07/29/2015 at 11:30am / Croatia (Zadarska) / Money
by Zizi / 07/04/2015 at 9:18am / Norway (Nordland) / Miscellaneous