About arsinic : The elusive ArSinic can often be found lurking on the walls of FML and LOLpics, finding stupid puns and pictures of baby animals for amusement. If you ever cross it's path, the only chance for survival would be to soil yourself or offer it pizza.
arsinic's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
arsinic's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
by oh / 02/22/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love
by replaced / 02/21/2016 at 10:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
by bob the builders pissed off daughter / 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
by WhatALetdown / 11/24/2015 at 7:26pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Secret Isis supporter / 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by racello13 / 11/02/2015 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by laurenmichela / 10/12/2015 at 5:47pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…