About arsinic : The elusive ArSinic can often be found lurking on the walls of FML and LOLpics, finding stupid puns and pictures of baby animals for amusement. If you ever cross it's path, the only chance for survival would be to soil yourself or offer it pizza.
arsinic's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
arsinic's favorite FMLs
Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, and the trunk lid hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
by gnofin / 03/22/2016 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
by Hotdamn / 03/21/2016 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
by SoGoodAtLife / 03/09/2016 at 2:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Health
by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML
by oh / 02/22/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love
by replaced / 02/21/2016 at 10:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
by bob the builders pissed off daughter / 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
by WhatALetdown / 11/24/2015 at 7:26pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy