Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

arsinic

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

arsinic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 691
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

arsinic's page activity

Visits<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:38am<b>opnionation</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 12:36am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:13pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:04pm<b>roro_superloser</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:01am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:06am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 8:36pm<b>xicebearx</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 11:19am

arsinic's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of arsinic's badges

arsinic's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (4084)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39725) - you deserved it (4408)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33409) - you deserved it (3030)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (44157)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48013) - you deserved it (20895)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (3848)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46210) - you deserved it (14220)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49591) - you deserved it (4653)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48061) - you deserved it (6016)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38596) - you deserved it (23199)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54977) - you deserved it (9075)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63538) - you deserved it (8082)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48587) - you deserved it (16251)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53993) - you deserved it (3337)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: