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arraryOutOfBound

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 10:50am) | Search for a member

arraryOutOfBound

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

arraryOutOfBound's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43920) - you deserved it (5834)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (9702) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36348) - you deserved it (3474)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (3932)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

#20073639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (1953)

On 09/15/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (2850)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19300) - you deserved it (5108)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21047) - you deserved it (7015)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42635) - you deserved it (4947)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (77453)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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