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arraryOutOfBound

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 6:33am) | Search for a member

arraryOutOfBound

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arraryOutOfBound's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (5825)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (2115)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

#19573690
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (2839)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (5101)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you deserved it (76709)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

#16320641
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was mugged while on my way to the book store. I'd saved up for months to make a mega-purchase of study materials for my major, only for it to be taken away in a few seconds by some lowlife thug. FML

#15164140
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49009) - you deserved it (3998)

On 03/01/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by chilegrande - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (2436)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (3699)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13798) - you deserved it (88948)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

#142534
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53251) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)



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