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arlee

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arlee

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  • Number of visits : 1932
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arlee's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76362) - you deserved it (11478)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

#3365761
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (5717)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

#3176908
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (27501)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (77557)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (41251)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

#2911637
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (6610)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

#2901718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45786) - you deserved it (23296)

On 06/15/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94574) - you deserved it (19977)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got into an argument with a 7 year old. He said that Obama was the 44th President, I said he was the 42nd. Guess who was right. FML

#2791177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9760) - you deserved it (78873)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by feeldumb - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70859) - you deserved it (4957)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51231) - you deserved it (64519)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

#2715007
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51950) - you deserved it (4654)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94998) - you deserved it (6693)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore



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