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arkumx

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arkumx
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  • Number of visits : 453
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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arkumx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

#20012679
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (3911)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (6034)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14655) - you deserved it (45864)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67999)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (4417)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (37885)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (30431)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12846) - you deserved it (34218) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (1864)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15131) - you deserved it (332618)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (25554)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (7668)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking at the skeleton of a human male that we have in out biology classroom. I picked up the hand to examine the bones in the finger, and had the sudden realization that this is the only time that I have held hands with a boy. I'm a junior in college. FML

#2375758
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50669) - you deserved it (7646)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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