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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17

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ariannagracy17's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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ariannagracy17's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

#964026
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68175) - you deserved it (4157)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:13am - work - by Bob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67637) - you deserved it (19946)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
935 comments

I agree, your life sucks (364196) - you deserved it (41086)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
935 comments

I agree, your life sucks (364196) - you deserved it (41086)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88976) - you deserved it (35245)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (202121) - you deserved it (31659)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (77256)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (190065) - you deserved it (14089)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML

#234756
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137747) - you deserved it (9212)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115512) - you deserved it (271086)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (51267)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84591) - you deserved it (5644)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

#80868
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (4639)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by Kev (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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