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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (2314)
On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (3964)
On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (28587)
On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (2820)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (2583)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (32749)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (40242)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64285) - you deserved it (4464)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53763) - you deserved it (3435)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (9643)
On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (22106)
On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15472) - you deserved it (32338)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:06am - animals - by Ketchup (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (10377)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug addicted friends into my home while I was away where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (3557)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:09am - money - by myheadhurts (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10861) - you deserved it (47524)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
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