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arayku

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 3:45am) | Search for a member

arayku

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  • Number of visits : 2787
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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arayku's page activity

Visits<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:46am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 7:07am

arayku's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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arayku's favorite FMLs

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (5181)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33654) - you deserved it (2385)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (3991)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (12502)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53192) - you deserved it (9553)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45235) - you deserved it (6423)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47415) - you deserved it (18345)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47922) - you deserved it (10562) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58108) - you deserved it (7255)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (6198)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (16216)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54892) - you deserved it (5393)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (52632)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (52491)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46560) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)



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