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arayku

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arayku

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  • Number of visits : 797
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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arayku's page activity

Visits<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 7:07am

arayku's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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arayku's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42471) - you deserved it (7392)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (5664)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42438) - you deserved it (16053)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (8127) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51586) - you deserved it (6521)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (5794)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (14932)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50950) - you deserved it (5068)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (49119)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18635) - you deserved it (49001)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (4408)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50192) - you deserved it (8359)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (71506)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58632) - you deserved it (2894)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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