Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aprilita

Search for a member

aprilita
  • Town/Country : El Paso, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2905
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

aprilita's last visitors

Jazzy9999colton_coltonRozay333hareSwedish_Eaglemazdatuner09the1pumpCHUMPmaxyutdapu_nahasapeemapTheJapaneseSushi

aprilita's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of aprilita's badges

aprilita's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (2718)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

#17404140
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (4467)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50007) - you deserved it (2382)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (69974)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

#17364293
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (23423)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46581) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

#17348241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (4770)

On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (10879)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34551) - you deserved it (11905)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

#17297166
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (2713)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by xxxkkxxx - Hong Kong

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (9285)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: