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aprilita's favorite FMLs
by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
by Jilly / 08/08/2011 at 2:45am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
by Anon / 08/04/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Username / 08/03/2011 at 10:33am / United States / Intimacy
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
by t2t2sync / 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (New York) / Work
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by creepedout / 07/31/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Intimacy
by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then… Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach…