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aprilita's favorite FMLs
by MahSquito / 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Health
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
by ohforcheese / 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
by tommy / 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Musicfreak / 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 2:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by yessir / 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health
by Messiahman / 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
by Missy / 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:36am / Sri Lanka / Miscellaneous
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…