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aprilita's favorite FMLs
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work
Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML
by that girl. / 06/06/2012 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
by kufan1324 / 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm / United States / Work
Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Scarred / 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by cachucy / 03/18/2012 at 11:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML
by Honey Badger / 03/08/2012 at 12:47am / United States / Work
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend.… Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on… Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk"…