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aprilita's favorite FMLs
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
by ambushcat / 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Animals
by lazy pregnant girl / 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Work
by magicman / 07/04/2012 at 5:04am / United States / Health
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by crippy / 06/26/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation
- Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter.… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.… Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused,…