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aprilita's favorite FMLs
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
by ambushcat / 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Animals
by lazy pregnant girl / 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Work
by magicman / 07/04/2012 at 5:04am / United States / Health
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Misky / 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm / Miscellaneous
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by crippy / 06/26/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…