aprilita

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aprilita

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8008
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aprilita's page activity

Visits<b>SarahJanexo</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:26am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:56am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 2:23pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:36pm<b>heybro19</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:20am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 12:39am<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:45pm<b>chloe24601</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:01am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Jujuboo_3</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:38am<b>QueenOfSuppness</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:42am<b>brucewayne14</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>zanoty</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>reezy1978</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:31pm<b>alexiah</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:20pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:10am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:11pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:15am

Fucked!<b>refticon</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:23pm

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aprilita's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

by sincerely depressed. / 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

by FutureMarine3658 / 08/08/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

by ooops / 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

by confusedbutloved / 07/08/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

by JadedBaker / 07/08/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous