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aprilita's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
by jlee0000785 / 09/17/2012 at 10:15am / Australia / Love
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
by Blueberry / 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2012 at 9:46am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML
by conspicuous / 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML
by p / 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm / Ireland (Mayo) / Kids
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by desperategurl / 08/21/2012 at 4:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
by yarhyun1 / 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm / United States / Love
by JMG / 08/19/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- Today, a customer bitched at me in front of her children for 10 minutes because I wouldn't open the… Today, after my 10 year old brother was watching youtube for hours, he had apparently learned a new… Today, I asked my husband of 15 years to get a vasectomy, as he's said for the past 13 we are done…