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aprilita's favorite FMLs
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
by hawksbc / 11/28/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
by N / 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
by schooyou101 / 11/17/2012 at 8:34am / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
by foreveralone / 11/13/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
by embarrassed / 10/08/2012 at 5:12am / Australia (South Australia) / Love
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
by unhappy wifey / 09/28/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by MB101 / 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Love
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy
by IHateMyLife / 09/22/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell… Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find… Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this…