Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

applexj

Search for a member

applexj

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 574
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About applexj : Hello, I like to play hockey

applexj's page activity

Visits<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:24am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:21pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:35pm<b>0987654321123465</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:05pm<b>13taylorswift</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 12:26am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:41am<b>awilliams44</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 8:19pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 7:31am<b>barak263</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 7:16am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:57am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:21am<b>NotAPrincess</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 9:25pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 6:23am<b>fay32</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:41pm<b>chelene</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:47pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:40pm

applexj's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of applexj's badges

applexj's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48146) - you deserved it (5624)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (3303)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49802) - you deserved it (6392)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50127) - you deserved it (7077)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (15102)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (16945)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56158) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68682) - you deserved it (3919)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45709) - you deserved it (4742)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10103) - you deserved it (46608)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (8992)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24118) - you deserved it (10130)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51591) - you deserved it (3974)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: