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apolo

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apolo
  • Town/Country : Springfield, MO, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 April 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About apolo : I like sports cars, racing, animals, and a few other micellaneous things. Thats about it.

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

apolo's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (6386)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (7607)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5227) - you deserved it (26097)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5221) - you deserved it (40251)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45067) - you deserved it (4451)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130433) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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