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apndi's favorite FMLs
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML
by anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 10:16am / United States / Love
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
by dollybabe / 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by disney / 11/26/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
by crazylobster / 11/14/2009 at 11:52am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
by E.S. / 10/23/2009 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Chensticles / 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm / Miscellaneous
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
by staringisrude / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Laundrylady / 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…