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apndi's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by ddll / 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm / Singapore / Love
by Harry Dare / 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Love
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
by EpicMayonnaise / 08/26/2011 at 3:35am / United States (Texas) / Love
by boyfriend123 / 08/18/2011 at 6:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
by Nell / 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…