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aperez95

Offline (the 10/12/2014 at 8:18am) | Search for a member

aperez95

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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aperez95's favorite FMLs

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (7239)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (15621)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (16190)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (9159)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (8495)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (7141)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you deserved it (6973)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51119) - you deserved it (4485)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42765) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39962) - you deserved it (11086)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45117) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56262) - you deserved it (6000)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43912) - you deserved it (13897)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54528) - you deserved it (5243)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)



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