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aperez95

Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 3:29am) | Search for a member

aperez95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 February 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aperez95's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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aperez95's favorite FMLs

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (3306)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (6587)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (3454)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36614) - you deserved it (7284)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40542) - you deserved it (18351)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36090) - you deserved it (17363)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52153) - you deserved it (10772)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (8905)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52775) - you deserved it (7411)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42159) - you deserved it (7285)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53752) - you deserved it (4711)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (6534)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41705) - you deserved it (11676)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46144) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59717) - you deserved it (6437)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States



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