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ape1321's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML
by hantavirus / 08/26/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML
by theboy6494 / 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, was my boyfriends mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
by Fattypatty / 07/09/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health
by toothfairy / 06/26/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/26/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
by ninjawhat1337 / 05/25/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
by Jesus / 04/21/2009 at 10:39am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by you would / 03/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML
by GopherJR / 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love