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Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46483) - you deserved it (7976)
On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48572) - you deserved it (2616)
On 08/10/2009 at 4:47pm - love - by theboy6494 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, was my boyfriends mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34735) - you deserved it (6187)
On 08/09/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40141) - you deserved it (1742)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46106) - you deserved it (2299)
On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (41531)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (1877)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (1693)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (41779)
On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36244) - you deserved it (8449)
On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63500) - you deserved it (16088)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107341) - you deserved it (4831)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)
Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15509) - you deserved it (1234)
On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Monday 20 May 2013
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