ape1321

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ape1321

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ape1321's page activity

Visits<b>Jacob031300</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 3:40pm<b>jengo54</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 9:08pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 5:20am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:34am<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:40pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:21am<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:51pm<b>anime8769</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:27am<b>AshleeDanielle_</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Zman2017</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:03pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:44am<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:46am<b>Vball6</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 5:59pm<b>patches116</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 9:27pm<b>sroseh10</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 10:27pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 12/04/2012 at 12:47pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 12/03/2012 at 3:03pm

Fucked!<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:34am

ape1321's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

ape1321's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:39am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Kids

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

by bumblebee / 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML

by FBfail / 02/28/2010 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

by sexyyy / 12/07/2009 at 2:18pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Love

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

by Twinner / 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

by Maggie123 / 09/14/2009 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

by jeph23 / 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work