apaloosa

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apaloosa

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1364
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About apaloosa : 😉

apaloosa's page activity

Visits<b>MellowMe20</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:10pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 4:27am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:00pm<b>lujainkh</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 10:42am<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:51am<b>katachristic</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 7:00pm<b>Testing1234</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:55pm<b>zainman13</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:03pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:40pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 11:01am<b>niallo</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 10:08am<b>kakabalo</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 10:00am<b>Xandler</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 8:09am<b>dantedevil500</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 8:40pm<b>jairolover</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 4:01am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:02am<b>hayshed</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 1:27am

Fucked!<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 10:27am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:00pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 5:01pm<b>kakabalo</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:02am

apaloosa's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of apaloosa's badges

apaloosa's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

by ginger / 08/19/2011 at 6:38am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

by LaRae17 / 08/04/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

by weirdesout / 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

by SoniaLovesYou / 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

by bridezilla / 07/05/2009 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

by kat9232000 / 06/19/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

by WeezysBaby / 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love