Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

apaloosa

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

apaloosa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About apaloosa : ^ you want it don't you?

apaloosa's page activity

Visits<b>nutellajar</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:32am<b>johnrdz3</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:27am<b>pabj208</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:39am<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:15pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:09pm<b>GotItWow</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:45pm<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 7:47am<b>BauerMegan</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm<b>randomgirl4728</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 7:54pm<b>dchaslow1</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:23am<b>UnvalidMistakes</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:18pm<b>lukian</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:48pm<b>arleenxo</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:16am<b>BenignSociopath</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 10:45pm<b>miss_chriss</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 10:32pm<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 10:09pm<b>cherries62212</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 5:35pm

apaloosa's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of apaloosa's badges

apaloosa's favorite FMLs

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51448) - you deserved it (6798)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (2433)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
186 comments

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (3358)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (3145)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36858) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (2565)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35319) - you deserved it (8377)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (8313)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (2904)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (4124)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: