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apaleontologist

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apaleontologist
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 26
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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apaleontologist's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

#20491168
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (5066)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (2161)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML

#20486592
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (2997)

On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43022) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)



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