About anzie : I believe that I may just be one of the biggest grammar freaks you'll ever get to know. I can label what every word in a sentence is without reading it twice, and if something is mixed up, it hurts my brain. I also have a slight case of OCD, and have reread everything in this "about me" numerous times. It could have started off being about unicorns, but here is the final product. If you point out a mistake in any of this, I may just have a panic attack.
Yep, I'm a weirdo and a freak like that. My account won't change to my proper birthday, but I assure you that I've been on this planet for roughly seventeen years.
Ask me about my thirteen-inch scar sometime, and I shall tell you a glorious tale.
Thanks for reading! (and I can't receive or send messages here, jussayin)
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Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML
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On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
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On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
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On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
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On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
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On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML
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On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML
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On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36206)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13174) - you deserved it (3474)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML
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On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
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On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
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On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML
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On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16781) - you deserved it (1679)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed f*ck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
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On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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