Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About anzie : I believe that I may just be one of the biggest grammar freaks you'll ever get to know. I can label what every word in a sentence is without reading it twice, and if something is mixed up, it hurts my brain. I also have a slight case of OCD, and have reread everything in this "about me" numerous times. It could have started off being about unicorns, but here is the final product. If you point out a mistake in any of this, I may just have a panic attack.
Yep, I'm a weirdo and a freak like that. My account won't change to my proper birthday, but I assure you that I've been on this planet for roughly seventeen years.
Ask me about my thirteen-inch scar sometime, and I shall tell you a glorious tale.
Thanks for reading! (and I can't receive or send messages here, jussayin)
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Friday 26 June 2015