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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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antoinemartinez

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antoinemartinez
  • Town/Country : Thornton, Colorado
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 January 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 954
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About antoinemartinez : what would you do for a Klondike bar?

antoinemartinez's last visitors

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antoinemartinez's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043 (441)

I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (59917)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (6586) - you deserved it (16330)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (4766)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (33999) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (16573) - you deserved it (30627)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (6024)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (2244)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84485) - you deserved it (17446)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (34224)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)