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anth92

Offline (the 06/23/2015 at 3:21pm) | Search for a member

anth92

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  • Number of visits : 930
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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anth92's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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anth92's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my dad I was gonna to start working out again. He looked at me with honest confusion on his face and said, "You worked out before?" My mother started laughing. She was all the way upstairs. FML

#21430201
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21909) - you deserved it (2554)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:35pm - health - by LukesSkyWalker (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

#21428771
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25224) - you deserved it (8183)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:06pm - misc - by jenpearl (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (8560)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

#21422975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26161) - you deserved it (1862)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (4329)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (4976)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (3320)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

#21420551
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (3213)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:59am - misc - by bloody hell (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

#21419928
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (3722)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

#21419646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26721) - you deserved it (2728)

On 06/02/2015 at 10:59am - love - by skid (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (2939)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia



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