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anteup623's favorite FMLs
by ThatOneGirl646 / 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids
by jumbledgirl / 01/10/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/09/2012 at 10:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by imamomma / 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm / United States / Kids
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
by dealingdave / 12/19/2011 at 7:24am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
by Alpha / 12/17/2011 at 4:18pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…