Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

anonimeeeee

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

anonimeeeee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6111
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

anonimeeeee's page activity

Visits<b>cluch3</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:14pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:30pm<b>beatrice18</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:39pm<b>stealth647</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 8:58am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>olpally</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:07am<b>That_Wolf_Gurl</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:30pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:04am<b>FallenShadows</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:50pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:32pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 2:25pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 11:54pm<b>LmfaoLmao</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:54pm<b>AustinDillon3Fan</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:00pm<b>Carmelo_Anthony1</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:04pm

anonimeeeee's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of anonimeeeee's badges

anonimeeeee's favorite FMLs

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44754) - you deserved it (9504)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (3540)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45633) - you deserved it (4120)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15708) - you deserved it (38946)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (5248)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57285) - you deserved it (5704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (3203)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (8046)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

#18198987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (4000)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:59am - love - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

#18195085
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65645) - you deserved it (4867)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML

#18084228
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (3317)

On 10/26/2011 at 9:38pm - love - by nekogirl15 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18072) - you deserved it (32475)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: