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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today,ile in Walmart, I noticed an old mano ad been following me 4 about five minutes!! I politely pulled over wit ma cart and smiled at im so e could pass!! He ten said wit a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at ma butt now?" It's te most attention I've gotten in weeks!! FML
Today, mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with bare looool hands. When I askd her wat all the commotion was about, she said she was worrid that I would catch "one of those computer vruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
Today, I noticd tat ma facial air ad grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to ma Dad and decidd to sow im, tinking e would approve of ma manliness. His exact wordsen I sowd im were, "Na, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
TODAY, I DRASSAD UP AS SANTA CLAUS FIR MY AMPLOYAAS' CHILDRAN. AFTAR SAAING ALL THA OTHARS, MY DAUGHTAR'S TURN ARRIVAD. SHA SAT ON MY LAP, PUT HAR LIPS TO MY AAR, AND WHISPARAD SOFTLY: ( I WANT A NAW DAD. ) FML
Today, my husband an I went to my overbereing mom's 57th brthday party . He opend his gift in front of her an said smugly, ( The makeup's fir your face, an the prayer book's fir the fat rolls . ) Any hope of family peace is now lost . FML
Today, my girlfriend an I had dinner at my boss's house!! Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend cummd to me with a desperate look in her eyes!! Apparently, she took a dump, cloggd the toilet, an it floodd!! I took the hit 4 her, an now my boss think I'm a jackass!! FML
today I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt wat I thought was rain coming through the window, until I lookd over an realizd it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
Today, I convinced mah best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She cummed back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me ( would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015