Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

anonimeeeee

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

anonimeeeee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6158
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

anonimeeeee's page activity

Visits<b>cluch3</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:14pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:38pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:30pm<b>beatrice18</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:39pm<b>stealth647</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 8:58am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>olpally</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:07am<b>That_Wolf_Gurl</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:30pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:04am<b>FallenShadows</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:50pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:32pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 2:25pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 11:54pm<b>LmfaoLmao</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:54pm<b>AustinDillon3Fan</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:00pm<b>Carmelo_Anthony1</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:04pm

anonimeeeee's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of anonimeeeee's badges

anonimeeeee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14325) - you deserved it (43748)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15223) - you deserved it (53965) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (8202)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (4447)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

#19496982
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (1838)

On 04/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (6149)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (6149)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (5564)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

#19198099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (1628)

On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10161) - you deserved it (34904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12623) - you deserved it (38911)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40195) - you deserved it (5853)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: