Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

annie_nk

Search for a member

annie_nk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6978
  • Number of comments : 1202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About annie_nk : Hi. I'm Annie. I'm happily married and a mother of 2 girls. I am a stay at home mom so this site helps keep me sane. I come here mainly for the comments. Feel free to message me if you feel so inclined.

Even though my profile says I have zero confirmed FMLs, I actually have one confirmed. I was signed in anonymously when I submitted it and technically that doesn't count. If you wanna know what it is, a simple Google search should help.

annie_nk's page activity

Visits<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - 5 hours ago<b>bjf21</b> - 6 hours ago<b>mikeyj257</b> - 7 hours ago<b>missalyssaxo</b> - 9 hours ago<b>darwinism</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Toughsky</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ldemosthenous</b> - 15 hours ago<b>AustinDenton</b> - 19 hours ago<b>grapegamer</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Shep81</b> - 20 hours ago<b>cdgrayson</b> - 21 hours ago<b>inner_peace</b> - 21 hours ago<b>tyler_jay</b> - 21 hours ago<b>mystery_user</b> - 22 hours ago<b>GuessWut</b> - 22 hours ago<b>steveykinz0967</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Austrand22</b> - 22 hours ago<b>musicmann97</b> - yesterday at 2:19am

annie_nk's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of annie_nk's badges

annie_nk's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (4760)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31347) - you deserved it (2122)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5992) - you deserved it (35686)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (36743)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (51589)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (3265)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20313) - you deserved it (1761)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (2375)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36621) - you deserved it (4402)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10065) - you deserved it (31382)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25738) - you deserved it (2359)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (2847)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24179) - you deserved it (2334)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: