Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

annie_nk

Search for a member

annie_nk
  • Town/Country : Utah, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5266
  • Number of comments : 1172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About annie_nk : Hi. I'm Annie. I'm happily married and a mother of 2 girls. I am a stay at home mom so this site helps keep me sane. I come here mainly for the comments. Feel free to message me if you feel so inclined.

Even though my profile says I have zero confirmed FMLs, I actually have one confirmed. I was signed in anonymously when I submitted it and technically that doesn't count. If you wanna know what it is, a simple Google search should help.

annie_nk's last visitors

gotaplanstanKonainthe1pumpCHUMPMrDantegladdy1991Broadway_VayneWaterBuidoctorhook86GenMG

annie_nk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of annie_nk's badges

annie_nk's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5580) - you deserved it (16071)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5569) - you deserved it (43166)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (5489)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40189) - you deserved it (10368)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (37485)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (7537)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (4628)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

#16984113
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (6895)

On 07/05/2011 at 7:48am - love - by Ella - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (58479)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

#14772330
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (2513)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

#14093587
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (3272)

On 12/05/2010 at 7:48am - love - by Jaded618 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

#13729555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

#13440405
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (22404)

On 10/13/2010 at 11:08pm - misc - by holly10350 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: