Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

annalise14

Online | Search for a member

annalise14

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

annalise14's page activity

Visits<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:24pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 2:06pm<b>Jelbeztok</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 4:50pm<b>454ss</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 12:13pm<b>pimentel25</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 1:33pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:30pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:18pm<b>JonnyBoy18</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 10:46am<b>liamoneil93</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 7:32pm<b>treynation</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 5:31pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:23am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 8:04pm<b>raininginseattle</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 11:04am<b>strangenesslover</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:29am<b>sassyland</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:30pm<b>Skittles_Wiki</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 11:32am<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:38pm<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:40am

annalise14's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of annalise14's badges

annalise14's favorite FMLs

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42089) - you deserved it (7881)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43705) - you deserved it (2907)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59406) - you deserved it (20953)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50737) - you deserved it (3466)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61646) - you deserved it (13455)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (4336)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (10117)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (2416)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16355) - you deserved it (26901)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19257) - you deserved it (6511)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8871) - you deserved it (25091)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (5914)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: