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anishamistry's favorite FMLs
by emirie / 11/14/2013 at 4:33pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Kids
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
by cay / 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
by psd60 / 12/06/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm / United States / Kids
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Likian5 / 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by yourebeautiful / 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today I had to pick up my son from soccer practice. I saw my son from my car, so I said "Get in the… Today, my little sister told me she "got wet" when the guinea pig we were looking after licked her… Today, I decided it would be sexy and spice up my marriage to give myself a Brazilian wax. Although…