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About animalover9 : 'Ello people!
I obviously love animals. Although, stupid people have made me feel the need to say this, "Not A Furry".
Moving on, I also love the rock genre of music (Papa Roach being my favorite band) and will make fun of things like One Direction or BVB/BOTDF because I'm a terrible human being who takes most things way too easily. Seriously, I end up offending a bunch of people often with my dumbass jokes ^-^" I'm that odd person who feels compassion for just about everyone/everything, yet still manages to be a complete offensive jerk ._.
I enjoy FML because it makes me feel better about my own life. Don't get me wrong, I have a pretty simple life but everyone has those days where you want to set people on fire. And when you have an annoying case of Social Anxiety, you really do tend to avoid people in reality.
Message me for anything~ (Although I'm not on FML as much anymore so I could take very long to get back to you but I should eventually)
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Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
Thursday 10 April 2014