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animalforever

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animalforever

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animalforever's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43935) - you deserved it (2994)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41955) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56619) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

#20917263
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (10540)

On 10/12/2013 at 3:23am - love - by angryinlaws (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51798) - you deserved it (5631)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42284) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (4625)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38764) - you deserved it (4359)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (4608)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML

#20915163
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (2784)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (6341)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39972) - you deserved it (4963)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)



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