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animalforever's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
animalforever's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML
by Karansuni / 10/14/2013 at 6:38am / Germany / Work
by Anonymous / 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by angryinlaws / 10/12/2013 at 3:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 2:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
by (-__- ) ( ^.^) / 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Itsnotmeitsyou / 10/11/2013 at 2:09am / Australia / Work
by CreamGravy / 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm / Australia / Love
Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML
by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids
Today, while despairing over having been rejected for my dream job, I received an email asking me to come back in for another interview. Then they called me to say they accidentally sent the email to all the applicants, and that they definitely aren't interested. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2013 at 1:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by emopoe / 10/09/2013 at 2:25pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML
by Ixiion / 10/09/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anon / 10/09/2013 at 1:21am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, it was me and my husband's anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You… Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let… Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very…