Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

animalforever

Search for a member

animalforever

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1618
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

animalforever's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of animalforever's badges

animalforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (6602)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46611) - you deserved it (5304)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41836) - you deserved it (3679)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

#20938197
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (2403)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46639) - you deserved it (5053)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43767) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54217) - you deserved it (4033)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (19170)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52010) - you deserved it (9174)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45026) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45026) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47584) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43732) - you deserved it (4825)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42798) - you deserved it (19258)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (18599)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: