Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

animalforever

Search for a member

animalforever
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 246
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

animalforever's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of animalforever's badges

animalforever's favorite FMLs

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (2569)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (4509)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (2593)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40764) - you deserved it (4239)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42660) - you deserved it (5884)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (16696)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43006) - you deserved it (3484)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (6071)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12234) - you deserved it (29545)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45250) - you deserved it (2156)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38279) - you deserved it (3383)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (15528)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (8313)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (2278)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML

#20574297
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (1236)

On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: