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animalforever's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
animalforever's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 12:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML
by aaannnddd there goes my boner / 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2013 at 11:53am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML
by firefromherlips / 11/27/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
by paranoid neighborhood / 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals
Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML
by Amanda / 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm / United States / Love
by Thanks guys / 11/26/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, my supervisor at work took me into the back room, saying "several other cashiers complained… Today, I started my first day working the drive thru at Taco Bell. My very first customer, a lady,… Today, and for the last few days I've stopped texting the people I talk with daily to see if they'd…