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angrydinosaur's FML badges
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angrydinosaur's favorite FMLs
Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML
by ThisGirl / 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by stupidbullcrêpe / 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Health
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
by Lauren / 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML
by i believe in shaq / 08/19/2012 at 6:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
by spasticock / 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm / Portugal (Setubal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
by wow, thanks / 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love
by lonelygirl / 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Utah) / Animals
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 6:16pm / Canada / Work
by byegeorge / 08/17/2012 at 7:26am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Animals
- Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…