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angrydinosaur's FML badges
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angrydinosaur's favorite FMLs
Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML
by wow kid just leave me alone / 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm / United States / Love
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
by NotJessePinkmanFFS / 09/10/2012 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 2:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by PuddlePirate / 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
by Emma / 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML
by badwolf / 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
by Cherrish it / 09/04/2012 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls.… Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact,…