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Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8188) - you deserved it (20208)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47142) - you deserved it (3892)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5578) - you deserved it (44660)
On 07/15/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97258) - you deserved it (56321)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (36999)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (47029)
On 04/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by panicromanceX3 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79749) - you deserved it (12410)
On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90506) - you deserved it (5836)
On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193456) - you deserved it (18046)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (87785) - you deserved it (5214)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40689) - you deserved it (6506)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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