Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About angelitared : Angelita's Apple Pie Goddess Recipe
Apple pie filling
6-8 Granny Smith apples
1 table spoon cinnamon
1 table spoon of vanilla extract
2-4 table spoons of milk
1 table spoon of flour
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 brown sugar
Peel and slice apples thinly, add all ingredients above .. Stir well in big bowl, sit bowl aside until crust is ready!
Apple pie crust recipe
4cups of Flour
2 1/2 sticks of butter
3-4 table spoons of milk
Cube butter and mix with the flour and milk, mend with your hands until mixture becomes firm dough. If the mixture is too sticky add a little more flour, if the mixture is falling apart and not forming into dough ... Add more milk! Then cut dough into two even balls ... Roll out two thick pie crusts, lay one in the pie pan and then poor apple mixture into the pie pan! Layer it with the second pie crust. Sprinkle sugar all over the top of the crust!! Crack an egg and use only egg whites in a separate Bowl... Cover top of pie. Bake at 375 for 30 mins or so.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
Friday 17 October 2014