Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2636
  • Number of comments : 279
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About angelitared : A riddle I wrote. Pm me the answer. No cheating!

Bitter, black, liquid crack
Battery acid, mocha joe.
Shallow root grow massive and vigorous. Provide me your oval shaped beans. Robusta cherries be full and substantial, for my addiction to you will remain faithful and relentless.

angelitared's page activity

Visits<b>powerkeep</b> - 2 hours ago<b>underscore23</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Nolimit2217</b> - yesterday at 7:22pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:31am<b>msamake</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 8:51am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:47pm<b>mikethekid</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 4:42pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:08am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:35pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:23am<b>nicktrelos</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:59am<b>Just_STFU_Please</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:18am<b>singsing64</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:10am<b>leahb99</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:03pm<b>funneh1</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:17am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:50am

Liked!<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:09am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:05am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:48am<b>mete_orito</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:06am<b>papashaan</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 5:44am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 7:40pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 5:18pm<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 4:39am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:25am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:31am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:14am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:43pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:36pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:22pm<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 9:29am

angelitared's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of angelitared's badges

angelitared's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (729005) - you deserved it (56564)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML


I agree, your life sucks (365751) - you deserved it (41132)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML


I agree, your life sucks (291798) - you deserved it (19240)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (424406) - you deserved it (67591)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML


I agree, your life sucks (617915) - you deserved it (38211)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML


I agree, your life sucks (355368) - you deserved it (33509)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML


I agree, your life sucks (404466) - you deserved it (90300)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (682289) - you deserved it (457879)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (519106) - you deserved it (35290)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: