Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

angel12689

Search for a member

angel12689

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 882
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About angel12689 : My name is Amanda. I am 19. I am an aspiring writer.

angel12689's page activity

Visits<b>vikingchick</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:44am<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:04am<b>iambatman123</b> - the 12/28/2009 at 8:17pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 10:16pm<b>poopsicle22</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 7:31pm<b>iBimmer</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 10:54am<b>Horde</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 10:48am<b>LMark</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 6:15pm<b>UncleverName_FYL</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 12:37pm<b>nabo</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 11:57am

angel12689's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

angel12689's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52405) - you deserved it (21585)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59160) - you deserved it (30773)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML

#3627514
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (17658)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:08am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70192) - you deserved it (8426)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (96672)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (69959)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80859) - you deserved it (4056)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11491) - you deserved it (102122)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210197) - you deserved it (11243)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

#1383069
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69515) - you deserved it (15025)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71103) - you deserved it (8232)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12023) - you deserved it (59258)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (23981)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12312) - you deserved it (117914)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: