andyfox10

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andyfox10

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  • Number of visits : 1445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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andyfox10's page activity

Visits<b>m_n_m2000</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:12pm

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andyfox10's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

by baldspot / 04/02/2012 at 1:38am / Australia / Kids

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

by halfasleep / 03/27/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:45am / Russian Federation / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

by hannaaaahr / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

by tictacnose / 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health