andyeatsworld

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Offline (the 11/07/2014 at 4:50am)

andyeatsworld

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andyeatsworld
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About andyeatsworld : I have this thing for Giraffes... Oh and I have to rely on this to be able to not hate my life. Sigh lol.

andyeatsworld's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:47pm<b>NthDakotaBeaches</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:08pm<b>dbaby115</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 10:42am<b>chefcow</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:17pm<b>gunnerette</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:48am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:47pm<b>lovely_mess3</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:26pm<b>samm6697</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:01am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:05pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:34pm<b>kat_moore15</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 11:08am<b>majorrye</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:20am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:13am<b>LeoBaee</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:37am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:16am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:09am<b>tallwhiteguy96</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:31am<b>Tika876</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:47am<b>dbaby115</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:42pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:47am

andyeatsworld's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

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andyeatsworld's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

by not saying it was whores, but... / 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

by Potforapeso / 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

by dumass / 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

by cazzb / 09/16/2014 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

by new dog / 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Health