Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

andyeatsworld

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 5:16am) | Search for a member

andyeatsworld

0Liked!

andyeatsworld
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 161
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About andyeatsworld : I have this thing for Giraffes... Oh and I have to rely on this to be able to not hate my life. Sigh lol.

andyeatsworld's page activity

Visits<b>LeoBaee</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:37am<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:16am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:09am<b>tallwhiteguy96</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:31am<b>Tika876</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:17am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:49pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:01pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:44pm<b>josephinema</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:58am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:01am<b>McRxXxMcR</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:47pm<b>messedup4ever</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:48pm<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:42pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:02pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:42pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:23pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:10pm<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:26pm

andyeatsworld's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of andyeatsworld's badges

andyeatsworld's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

#21279192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (7713)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by not saying it was whores, but... - United States

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (4378)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (4534)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45080) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30299) - you deserved it (5548)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (18023)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38777) - you deserved it (5543)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (9759)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38162) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

#21259194
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (2429)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:17am - work - by cazzb - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33649) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (8461)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: