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andrew_weaver15's FML badges
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andrew_weaver15's favorite FMLs
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
by katerina / 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by unluckylassy / 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by squirts / 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm / Miscellaneous
by fack / 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Thanks guys / 11/26/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by cb / 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Intimacy
- Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would… Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God"… Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one…