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andrew130

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andrew130

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 605
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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andrew130's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:01am

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andrew130's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (13036)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48642) - you deserved it (3973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML

#14410593
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (2955)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (33528)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (7991)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (8157)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (4468)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

#13077269
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (10160)

On 09/16/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (73864)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (5885)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42214) - you deserved it (11938)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (4403)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6090) - you deserved it (33870)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

#3389497
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48506) - you deserved it (6604)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38629) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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