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andrew130

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andrew130

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 498
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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andrew130's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 2:25pm

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andrew130's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16171) - you deserved it (34531)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (7265)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

#20520975
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (51017)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (4958)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39031) - you deserved it (10309)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (5274)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (3394)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (35621)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45368) - you deserved it (5931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37959) - you deserved it (5655)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (60768)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (2779)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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